Thank God!

Sunday we went to church for the first time with Clayton. I bring this up because the service was very touching. It made me think back to last year and how "bitter" I was. The service really talked about all the things I wish I would have heard last year. Basically, Jareds message was called "Troubled Hearts." If you are feeling down about something I encourage you to listen to the feed. It's strange beacuse last year I didn't want to go church. I felt like everytime we went the message was about family, I was surrounded by pregnant women, and I every service turned into me bartering with God. IF ONLY, and "why not me?" So, now I wonder about just how much I didn't listen. So this year I sat and realized there is nothing I feel troubled about, and I thank God every day for that. I write this because there is so much I learned through the troubled times, but that doesn't mean that it made it any easier.

In just a year, I went from confused, hurt, frusterated, and in some cases alone (even thought I am happily married to a wonderful man) to being complete fullfilled, exhausted, tankful, and delighted. I learned that God has a plan that I will never completely understand. I realized that I have control over very little in my life. Pregnancy taught me (or tired to teach me) patience, and selflessness. Motherhood has taught me more of the same. As much as I would love to control the situation, I know that I can't and the harder I try the less control I have.

So I this year, my Thanksgiving isn't just on Thursday. I'm giving thanks every day. Every day I am thankful for God's love, His plan, and the work he has done on my heart!

I'd like to thank my friends who were there to listen through the bad times, and those who rejoiced with me in the good times. I'm thankful that I have family that loves my son and wants to be with him. I'm thankful for those who have guided me in the first few weeks of motherhood, and those who are going to continue being a support system. I'd like to thank my husband for being who he his. For riding the rollercoaster with me, for showing me sanity when I felt insane. (Even if I didn't want to hear it, or see it!)

It's amazing what God has done in our lives. I couldn't have prayed for a better husband, a more precious child, or a better life.